Look, here’s one of these “100 things about me” blogs. No one tagged me into this, I just thought I should get this out there early so you know the kind of shady character you are dealing with here.
On a serious note:
- Please don’t be offended by any health slang used, these are my real health conditions not thoughtless mention of conditions for effect.
- There is mention of miscarriage in this post.
Are you a morning or night person?
Are you afraid of the dark?
Yes. I am deeply unnerved by the possibility of injuring myself moving around in the dark.
Are you an extrovert or introvert?
I go through phases of both. People probably think I am quite bold, but I have that introvert thing where I get tired after socialising.
Are you double jointed?
My knees hyper-extend but not in a cool way. Just gross. OK – it’s quite cool for disgusting people with.
Are you left or right handed?
Are you more of a tidy person or a messy one?
Some things I keep very tidy, others I don’t care about. Everyone else in my house is incredibly messy, so it looks like I’m messier than I am because sexism: messy house = mum is messy. Mum actually works a 9 hour day then does dinner and laundry then sleeps and has no life.
Are you on time or always late?
On time. Being late is an anxiety trigger for me, I take enormous care to avoid it.
Are you ticklish?
Yep but for sensory reasons it registers as pain.
Can you curl your tongue?
Can you ice skate?
Not “can” now – I once “could”. If you were at Winter Wonderland 2013 and saw some idiot in a hipster fake-fur coat and a beehive taken off the ice after almost knocking herself out, that was me. I had failed to account for the lack of flexibility and the reversaknee situation. It was quite spectacular what a back spasm while joke-racing your mates around an outdoor rink can do. Never again.
Can you wiggle your ears?
What! No that would be proper weird. I once half cut my ear off, it was New Year’s Eve so I didn’t fancy A&E. I got my husband to re-align it and stuck it together with gaffer (Duck) tape. It only left a faint scar.
Coffee or tea?
Cookies, cake or donuts?
Cake, but dessert cake (the kind you eat with a spoon or fork, and has cream or custard). I don’t snack on sweet things, but sometimes I like them after a meal.
Did you ever participate in a talent show?
Yes. In fact I went to drama school.
Did you go to prom?
We had a leaver’s ball when I was at school – in a soap-like moment we discovered that evening that my form tutor had dated my date’s best mate (ie he clearly was not 21 as he claimed). It was all a bit awkward and I found out he was almost 10 years older than he said he was; which would also explain why he seemed in quite a rush for me to get married and push out some babies, like, ASAP when I was bloody seventeen. No reader, I did not marry him.
I have also chaperoned ALL THE PROMS. ALL OF THEM. I squeal a lot and get over excited at how SMART everyone looks and how their MUM MUST BE SO PROUD. I’m well embarrassing.
Did you like school?
It wasn’t traumatic or anything but I tended to socialise outside of school and found the work stressful. So then I went back and became a teacher, I was like why not. On a serious note it was with the intention of reducing stress by teaching everyone properly before the exam, unlike when I did them… and we found out upon opening the paper that our teacher had taught us the wrong book.
Do you believe in ghosts?
I would love to say no, but yes.
Do you bite your nails?
Use to, not now. I used to have trichotillomania too and pull out my own hair. My mum said during my GCSEs I looked like a neglected parrot.
Do you consider yourself a good cook?
The only things I won’t do is deep frying (anxiety = fire terror) and baking (because I cannot be arsed).
Do you enjoy dancing?
Yes, I used to dance properly. Nowadays I’m not allowed to dance at proms as all my moves are NSFW.
Do you enjoy DIY or crafts?
DIY more than crafts. Last week I was like “Urgh! HUSBAND! I think a slug’s got in our house – what is this slime?” It was glitter and PVA. Craft hates me. It sends me glitter to remind me that it knows where I live.
Do you forgive easily?
Yes now. In the past no. Actually no now, I’m a bitter old crone.
Do you have a nickname?
I’ve had many. One I can repeat here is “Titch” after that little yellow bod in the children’s story – you know, the tiny feeble little mini guy. That would be me.
Do you have any allergies?
Yes, to some medications. We discovered this when I woke up aged 7 with my eyes bleeding. I was like “Muuum why can’t I see?” and all hell broke loose. Luckily for me, they banned that medication soon after.
Do you have any phobias?
Slugs, strange dogs, wasps, any combination of tiny bits of loose thread + water + dust, dots or slime (think ‘ick’ dirt), some areas of hospitals… just a few.
Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
No, just never bothered.
Do you have children?
Yes. Sadly I’ve also had three miscarriages but I have one child thankfully.
Do you have pets?
Not unless you could the family. They are quite hairy and one of them has pooed in the garden before.
Do you have siblings?
A twin and a sister.
Do you prefer dogs or cats?
Do you prefer Mac or PC?
Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?
The beach, I like water and I don’t like climbing or cold.
Do you prefer to bath or shower?
Do you sing in the shower?
Rarely. If I did the Childe would find me and come and do a noisy poo in the bathroom potty while throwing toys at me to reassert dominance. Shhhh…
Do you smoke?
Do you speak any different languages?
Do you still have your wisdom teeth?
Half of them.
Do you still watch cartoons?
Yes all the bloody time. CBeebies is my friend.
Do you/have you played any sports?
I used to swim a lot, but now I walk for exercise.
Does your name have a special meaning?
It was chosen because it sounded classic and regal (ie so I could lie about my age later). Officially I think it means “purity”. The name I use online means ‘Lost One’ which is rather apt.
Have you ever been hospitalized?
Yes – the most recent time was a complication with my last miscarriage.
Have you ever been on a diet?
Yes, too much when I was in my late teens. I don’t anymore.
Have you ever been to a concert?
Have you ever gone camping?
Yes. I used to go to big camps with the Girl Guides and could put up an Icelandic ridge tent or a canvas bell tent way before it became a hipster glamping thing. Wait, does that make me hipster? Because I did it before it was mainsteam? (Checks in mirror for beard…)
Have you ever met any celebrities?
Yes. Also, I was on Trisha in the 1990s because I am THAT classy.
Have you ever skipped class?
Have you ever won something?
Yes. Once I filled in a Mumsnet review survey and won £200 of Love To Shop vouchers.
Have you had braces?
How are you feeling right now?
Rank. The germs have struck.
How tall are you?
If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday?
A loft conversion and loads of cupboards. So rock and roll.
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
London or Norwich. I like cities.
Were you ever a Scout or a Brownie?
Yes. I was Super Brownie and almost clocked the badge system.
What city were you born in?
What city do you live in now?
What did you last eat?
What did you want to be when you were younger?
A playwright or a teacher.
What do you do on a typical Friday night?
Put Childe to bed, binge watch Netflix, jump out of my skin as Childe wanders in half asleep like a haunted dolly, return Childe to bed, fall asleep in Childe’s bed and wake up at 3am wondering where I am, covered in toddler drool.
What is one food that you refuse to eat?
Aubergine skin. Looks like slugs, scared of slugs. Ergo, if I never eat aubergine skin I will never accidentally eat a slug. Right?
What is one item on your bucket list?
I don’t have a bucket list, it’s not how I do things.
What is one item you can’t live without?
What is your shoe size?
What movie have you watched repeatedly?
The Wizard Of Oz, Jurassic Park, Jaws, Of Mice & Men, Moana, Frozen … some by choice, some not.
What phone do you have (Apple or Android)?
What should you be doing right now?
Tidying up my classroom and/or eating lunch.
What’s one goal you would like to accomplish this year?
To get a good night’s sleep. Please.
What’s one of your pet peeves?
Online virtue signalling or people smugly telling people ‘it gets worse, you don’t know you’re born’ if they don’t know how bad it already is.
What’s the last song you’ve listened to?
CBeebies bedtime song.
What’s the most expensive item of clothing that you own?
A £600 Ralph Lauren cloak (which I got via TK Maxx in a past blog-life, for £60 – so not that expensive). I once spent £300 on a leather jacket, I think that would be my biggest real spend (it cost more than my wedding dress).
What’s the thing you can’t leave the house without?
What’s your best physical feature?
My hands and nails for looks, my legs for stamina.
What’s your Chinese sign?
What’s your current obsession?
Canva – it’s a free online graphics tool. I pretty much can’t take a photo or plan a lesson without needlessly wasting some time on Canva doing stuff to it.
What’s your dream car?
A Golf. But like a proper 90s round headlights Golf, fully restored. I don’t like big cars and I am from West London.
What’s your favourite animal?
I really like sea creatures and fish.
What’s your favourite book?
In terms of reading to relax, the first clear favourites I remember would have been The Dark Is Rising series and the Earthsea series. I’ve also returned to King’s Nightmares and Dreamscapes and Stoker’s Dracula’s Guest short stories many times. Plus all the classic detectives.
What’s your favourite colour?
What’s your favourite dessert?
Trifle, or chocolate brownie with cream.
What’s your favourite drink?
Coffee or beer.
What’s your favourite food?
What’s your favourite foreign food?
Interesting question to anyone not completely Anglo Saxon..! Or indeed who is but has lived overseas, it could mean anything.
If we’re talking holiday food then I really, really love banderillas.
What’s your favourite gadget?
We have a robot vacuum cleaner. It has saved the day many times.
What’s your favourite hobby?
Reading and writing.
Unless drinking wine and binge watching Youtube tutorials counts as a hobby? I’m very good at that.
What’s your favourite movie?
Jurassic Park or Tremors.
What’s your favourite restaurant?
Haru Sushi & Ramen House, Ealing.
What’s your favourite sandwich?
Prawn and avocado.
What’s your favourite season?
What’s your favourite series?
Now: Dirk Gently. Of all time: Spaced or The X Files.
What’s your favourite snack?
What’s your favourite sport to watch?
If I put Youtube tutorials on my phone and my tablet and watch flicking between them does that count as some kind of contest?
What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast?
Full English with unlimited coffee.
What’s your longest relationship so far?
What’s your lucky number?
What’s your star sign?
When is your birthday?
Summer, doh. See above.
Which city did you grow up in?
Who do you miss right now?
I used to miss my twin but it’s easier to keep in touch nowadays.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Tragically do not have one right now. I’m not quite at the stage of Stockholm syndrome-like Mr Tumble and Andy crushes…
Who’s your favourite fictional character?
I like the classic detectives: Sherlock Holmes, Miss Marple, Morse. They’ve often got interesting back stories. My current is Lord Peter Wimsey.
I found these questions on Lindsay Lovin’ Life. What else would you like to know about me? Or have you a fun fact about yourself to share..?